Stevie 2 Shed’s Bog Blog

Ah, joy, these shitters take you right back to your yooth, well unless yer young just now in which case check these shitters out, as they do not look like they have changed since I were a lad.

Anyway, Grantown or Graataan as the locals say it, mooth full of phlegm required. Nice place, and they should save this crapper for posterity.

Right the report, this museum had two traps, and as I say the first impressions are “wow, a blast from the past” and that blast came from one of the traps being fully loaded, it was brimming with god knows how many folks kack and it had flies hovering, ah old skool. The second and final trap had the good old ejector seat pan, looks fixed until yer arse makes contact then you either end up scrabbling to hold your position or you check yer erse.

Anyway, once settled it was good to notice this one had good old fashioned no nonsense graffiti, you know the type “for a shag phone Senga” etc one or two poems and much football related twaddle and any teacher at this point would have a paloori just looking at the spelling and grammar, like I can talk.

So job done and cold water and no way of washing and drying your hands.

Cleanliness - 0
Warmth - 0 (Effen cold full stop)
Pan – 1 (only because it was there)
Water - 2
Dryer – 0

 
 
 

By Sir Arthur C. Clarke
Space scientists recently completed an examination of orbital debris, recovered after circling the Earth for several years. They discovered that much of it was coated with a thin film of what was delicately described as “fecal matter”, attributed to astronaut’s sloppy sanitation.

This may solve one of the mysteries of life’s origin on Earth: it seems to have arisen almost as soon as conditions were favorable, and not after the billions of years of molecular trial and error required by what Isaac Asimov called the “unblind working of chance.”

Obviously, organized life-forms need have occurred only once in this Galaxy, if the very first space-faring civilization was as careless about the environment as we are. Years ago, Hoyle and Wickramasinghe suggested that life had a cosmic, and not terrestrial, origin. They may be right, though not precisely in the way they imagined. It’s a humbling thought that we may have arisen from dumped sewage; the first chapter of Genesis would certainly require drastic revision.

On the other hand, if - as some philosophers have suggested- this Earth does indeed harbor the only life in the Universe, that deplorable state of affairs is now being rectified. We may draw some consolation - I hesitate to say inspiration - from the fact that our descendants are already on their way to the stars.

But we certainly would not recognize them, and it might be tactless to ask exactly how they got there.

 
Portsoy Public Bogs, main street just along from the ice cream shop.
One thing about the rural public bogs, as in this one, MacDuff and even Edzell is that they are anything but lush. However, in their defence, they are open and when the need arises they are aaaaargh braw.
So points (these are for Portsoy but the scoring for all mentioned are close).

 
 
 

Cleanliness - 3
Warmth - 1 (Effen cold in Winter)
Pan - 3
Water - 2
Dryer - Paper so 3

 
 

As usual i found this bog thro desperation based on if not now then it’s gonnie be a park. This toilet is at the top end of the scale, warm clean and open. Decent bog roll, running hot and cold water and fully operating dryers that don’t switch off after two drips.
 
 
 

Cleanliness - 5 points
Warmth - 5 points
Pan - 5 points
Water - 5 points
Dryer - 4 points
 

 
 

Japan’s toilet facilities are famous for their high-tech eccentricity, with gadgetry ranging from seat warmers and air deodorizers through to jet-washers. But energy coffee drink Georgia Max Coffee wanted to make the bathroom experience even more immersive and exhilarating in order to appeal to the extreme sports kids during winter, who like to drink caffeinated sweet drinks of this kind to help them stay on the ski slopes for longer. They did this in partnership with creative independent agency Tugboat.

Georgia Max Coffee chose to redesign the toilets of a number of key ski resorts in Japan. The cubicles were fully wrapped on all sides, so that the person caught short would have a ski jumper’s view when they were sitting on the loo. The person could look down at their skis (simply printed on the floor of the cubicle) and see the steep ski jump slope ahead of them. The toilet paper holder carried the only brand messaging in the cubicle, reading: “Seriously kick-ass intensely sweet for the real coffee super zinging unstoppable Max! Taste-explosion!” The message also featured the URL www.maxcoffee.jp, where visitors could view videos of extreme sports as well as sign up to the MAX community

Italian police have seized a musical toilet which plays the country’s national anthem when flushed, according to Ananova.

Prosecutors claim the offending porcelain - produced by two local artists for the Bolzano Museum of Modern Art - should not give forth with the “Fratelli d’Italia” because it’s “a national emblem which should be protected”.

The museum’s defence team counters that “while the anthem has patriotic and sentimental value, it is not a national symbol”. A court will rule on the matter later this week